The years before I gave my life over to the Lord were not easy ones, but I can’t so they were hard ones either. I knew who God was, I knew about His Son Jesus, but I didn’t have an intimate relationship like I do now. I have  fond memories of going to church growing up, attending Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. and spending Sunday afternoons reading bible stories from my moms big family bible. I loved that bible. It sat on the nightstand on my mother’s side of the bed. It was a big book filled beautiful paintings depicting the many stories from the bible ; and before  I could read my mother or father were easily coerced into sharing the stories that went along with those images. Once I learned to read I searched that big bible for the stories that partnered those classic murals and read them over and over again ; until I could recite the stories by heart. When I was eight my father’s step mother Minnie, gave my twin sister and I little white bibles with the just the new testament and Psalms. This book was miniscule in comparison to my mother’s big family bible and it held little interest to me at first. It had no pictures or cool charts in it and the print seemed so small. Yet despite being tiny it became useful to me. It was with me always until I turned fifteen. Minnie gifted us with a bigger white bible for our fifteenth birthday, one with the old and new testament and a few pictures that helped me recall some of my favorite stories from the big family bible.

That bible became my go to book. I was an avid reader back then, and when I couldn’t get to the library I read my favorite stories, but never took the time to take them to heart or apply them to my life. At fifteen I was exploring life from a new view. Like a typical teenager, I let my emotions rule my heart and any relationship I had started to build with the Lord was more personal than intimate. I looked at Jesus as my friend, not my savior and whenever I found myself spinning out of control I opened up that little white book and read for hours. I always felt good afterward, but that was all, I never took time to absorb the meaning of what I read, I just felt some comfort for a while. Looking back I understand now what a mighty God we serve. He could have at anytime given me what I deserved, but He showed me mercy,grace and love in spite of my evil ways. Who was I, that the creator of the universe would spare my life in my wickedness? I was on a downward spiral out of control and definitely in need of a savior, barely holding on and He had my back the whole time. At fifteen I was well on my way to becoming an alcoholic, I was abusing over the counter amphetamines and sexually acting out whenever the occasion arose. I survived it not because I was lucky, but because God had a plan for my life, that only He knew, that He was not ready to reveal to me just yet. My Journey to the cross was yet to begin and I had no idea where life would take me! “For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 MEV (Coming up: Life Before Thirty Part Two : God Plants a Garden For Me)

Everything wonderful in my life began just a bit over 31 years ago. It was last fall that I came to this conclusion at a women’s ministry get together. We always try to sit with people we don…

Source: Thirty Years a Slave, Thirty Years Saved

Who doesn’t love spring? Here in my desert mountain valley it definitely comes in like a multitude of roaring lions eager to tease a population longing for sunshine and warm weather. Spring brings us daylight savings time, sunshine, and WIND! Temperatures range from the low 50’s to the 70’s, some days the wind blows and some days it doesn’t. It is a brutal and chilling wind in the midst of a sun that truly means to welcome us with warmth; only to be hindered by the sight of tumble weeds rolling through the pastures of the country side. Despite this I love my Idaho springs, they never change and ever since I was a young child I have welcomed them with great expectations of what is to come. My mother’s daffodils, tulips and iris’ continuously start to bloom when the sun’s rays last longer into the evening. Her Quince bush brings forth blossoms of red that remind me of the blood Christ shed for me. Precious memories of springs past come to mind. The joy of celebrating the new life that Christ’s death and resurrection brings us is something to behold. I remember getting a new dress every Easter, sometimes accompanied by a lovely straw hat or white cotton gloves. What a glorious feeling would overcome me I wore my new dress! A reminder that I was a new creation with a renewed and regenerated heart because I trusted in a Lord and Savior that died so that I might live! I have a memory of my twin sister and I wearing our matching dresses, hats and gloves, swinging side by side trying to reach heaven and Jesus’ side, singing The Old Rugged Cross at the top of our lungs! Oh what the neighbors must have thought. Thank you Lord for the constant refreshment of my heart mind and soul through your word. Thank you for hearing my prayers and giving me cause to reflect on your goodness, as I call on you in times of need or humble praise.  Thank you for your mercy and grace and the hope of a new home with you.  It all bears repeating, not just in spring time, but every day. Hallelujah, I have been renewed, regenerated, and refreshed by the redeeming blood of Christ.

So What have I got to lose?

Part One

I am not ashamed to say that I am Christian. I want people to know what it is that makes me who I am, and what I am. If I had not given myself over to Jesus Christ back in 1986, I don’t know where I would be today. It’s not like I never knew who God was or what the Bible had to say about him, I just never took it to a personal level. When that intimacy kicks in you know it. You may not always have those wondrous close moments with God, where you just feel He is nearer to you more than ever, but you have that since that he is watching over you. Why not acknowledge it. Let people know that the God of Gods the great I am is the central most important part of everything that makes your life special. When you get up in the morning be proud to say “Good morning Lord my God, now I can get on my way, and have another wonderful day.” I do greet God every morning in many different ways, even it’s just to say, I need 5 more minutes. He is ever faithful, he rarely lets me over sleep. When he does, I am always running late, but never late for that which the day ahead has called for me to do. I usually get up at 4 am on week days for work. If I am smart, I lay out my clothes the night before, set the coffee pot to come on automatically, check and set the alarms on my TV and Phone before turning in for bed. My dad would always ask me if I was afraid of not waking up on time. He knew I was. I am one of those worrisome sleepers, if I keep my routine I sleep fine. If I forget one detail I am up in the middle of the night to fix it, and I lose sleep over it.

Today was one of those out my routine days where I took it for granted that I didn’t have to get up early, because it was a Monday Holiday. I had every intention of getting up no later than 6 am as if it was a normal work day. I would finally get to start the first day of my on line Bible Study on the book of Esther : Such a Time as This. Instead of getting up early as planned I slept in until 10 am.

I rushed out of bed, upset with myself and mumbling apologies to God for not being as intentionally focused as I had planned. I heated up some coffee and eagerly began my study. I found the challenge for the week, wrote it down, downloaded it and printed it out, I wanted to make sure I was prepared. I read the memory verse for the day, (Matthew 6:19-21)(from the Voice: Some people store up treasures in their homes here on earth. This is a shortsighted practice – don’t undertake it. Moths and rust will eat up any treasure you may store here. Thieves may break into your homes and steal your precious trinkets. Instead put your treasures in heaven where moths do not attack, where rust does not corrode, and where thieves are barred at the door. For where your treasure is there your heart will be.) I wrote it down, copying it from every version I had available at home, on my phone and online. I just wanted to make sure I got every little tidbit I could from the first day. I got more than that. I was so caught up in knowing what the word would bring, I lost sight of the true purpose of what I was meant to learn. What God has to provide for us is far greater than anything we have to offer in return. There is nothing in this world that is better than our eternal life with God our Father in heaven. As I read over the memory verses and the first 4 verses of Esther 1, I realized that one of the fears I have is not having faith that God will always be my provider, as long as I know from where my provisions come, I am doing okay. I may not know what tomorrow holds, but it’s okay God does He is already there. It does not matter what you have and how you flaunt it, unless you forget from where and who it came.

(Later: Part Two : So What Have I Got to Lose? Why Esther is my favorite book in the Bible.)